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Hey, how's it going?
Firstly, I want to thank you for posting this. If anything, I feel more educated on the subject of Tourettes. I didn't know what it was until I read this. I also didn't know what a dystonic reaction was, either. I chose this poem to critque because it captured my interest.
This was very honest and graphic at times. This is exactly, in my opinion, what poetry is about. Although you deviated from pure poetry- this doesn't contain all the poetic devices you would normally see in a poem, it is still poetry in my book as what you've written really comes from the heart. And it shocked me, and it spoke to me. So well done.
Some of your descriptions are great- especially, given the subject matter is so sensitive and personal to you. I liked this:
Something feels amiss,
You conveyed dread perfectly. Well done.
Good use of dialogue.
I liked this metaphor, even though it was a little obvious, I still liked it.
One criticism I would have is that due to the strong narrative nature of it the account is a little long. I think, if you were to re-draft this piece it would read better if you reconsidered a few of the unnecessary descriptions. Poetry can work wonderfully in smaller doses than longer ones. It's just a suggestion anyway.
So, all in all I enjoyed this. It's obvious that you used this as a means of release and that it totally awesome. That my friend, is how it should be done.
Please PM me if you have any questions- or I've just confused you- I'm not very good at articulating myself sometimes. My bad!
xxxx